Shinji's Crisis chapter 1
by Ashura Ayanami
Summary: Not much happening yet.. Shinji's almost ready to hurt someone.. and Asuka's not going to like who it is.. It's very short right now, but I'm definitely going to add on later...


Shinji's Crisis  
  
By Ashura Ayanami  
  
A.K.A.  
  
Jesse Lawrence-Hayden  
  
Hey. This is just something to tide you over... ^.^;;; No Control hasn't come along very well... since I can't think straight any more. ^.^ My girl, Holly, has continuously been trying to get me to write, but I never could think of anything... oh well. This is even more pointless than No Control and The Twins 1/2 put together, since I'm just writing it for a couple of hours. On with the show...  
  
Shinji looked out the window, watching as the rain fell down outside. The water ran down the windows, casting an almost eerie glow as the raindrops caught and bent the light as it entered his bedroom. He sighed, turning on his SDAT player.   
  
"Asuka doesn't care," he murmurs, watching the setting sun. "Why am I thinking about her, anyway.. all she does is yell at me..." He turned his back to the window, his eyes downcast as he laid his head in his hands. He thought back to all of the Angels they fought together, and not once did she ever congratulate him once, even those times he did it by himself. His mind wondered to his father.  
  
He growled softly as he punched his pillow. "Why am I here!?" he screamed at the roof as he clenched his fists. "Why do I put up with all of this?!"   
  
Shinji closed his eyes, weeping into his pillow as he continued to think. "I'm a coward..."  
  
~~~  
  
Asuka blinked as she looked into Shinji's room, wondering why all the lights were turned off. It was morning, and something was off to her. She noticed that Shinji wasn't acting normally. Inside, it was tearing her apart, but would she ever tell him? Tell him that she felt something for him, but she was afraid to show it? Afraid of him? She should her head as she cleared her mind of those thoughts. Her pride was getting in her way again.   
  
"Shinji! Get out of there!" she shouted, scowling. "We're gonna be late!!" She had already gotten dressed, and after eating what Misato called breakfast, she threw up in the toilet, not wanting the substance in her stomach to poison her. That was when she noticed that Shinji wasn't up.  
  
"Go away, Asuka!!" came the voice of the so-called spineless one. He almost ripped his door off of the hinges as he came out of his room, his eyes bloodshot from crying. He pushed past her and ran out the door, his bag on his shoulder.  
  
"Shinji..?" Asuka whispered as she felt tears begin to swell up in the corner of her eyes. She looked at the ground, then headed out the door.   
  
~~~  
  
Shinji looked up at the building, closing his eyes. He couldn't imagine another day sitting in that wretched, horrid classroom. Another day of school with Rei and Asuka, Toji and Kensuke... A bell chimed as he walked away from the building. He had to get away.   
  
~~~  
  
Asuka blinked as she thought she saw Shinji walk off in a random direction. 'That's a first...' she though as she headed inside. She hid her true emotions rather well, layering them with her loud and obnoxious attitude. Like Misato, she was afraid of being hurt, like Shinji as well. Maybe that's why she had agreed that she would stay in Misato's home. Because they were so similar, yet so different. Asuka closed her eyes, shaking as she thought of a reason Shinji would just walk away from the school. "He wouldn't.." she whispered to herself. But the doubt grew in her mind...  
  
~~~  
  
Shinji left the store, a package of shaving razors in his hand. He walked on down the street, an earphone in his ear. It was connected to his SDAT player, which continuously played the Canon for him. It was his favorite piece. He softly hummed the tune, seemingly more cheerful than before. But that's because he had something planned, that no one knew about. But, his plans were halted as a familiar figure made its way up the street in the opposite direction he was headed in.   
  
"Ikari-kun," Rei Ayanami stated as she walked up to him, her voice like ice. She looked into his eyes with her own emotionally cold crimson orbs, seeming to look deep into his soul. "Don't." she whispered softly in his ear as she started walking again.   
  
He turned around when Rei spoke, blinking. "Why not? What do I have left, Rei?" He murmured, then looks down at his feet. Shaking his head, Shinji stood up, and took out the razor he had bought a little while ago. While he was in the store, he had gotten something else, as well. A bottle of Jack Daniels "Gentleman Jack". He checked for the cops, then scowled slightly as he chased after Rei. Hiding the razor blade, and smile came upon his face. "She can watch..." he thought to himself.   
  
"REI! Rei! Wait up." A gentle smile fell upon his face. "Let's get outta here, okay? let's leave the little kids to their own world, and do something."   
  
Turning around, Rei incidentally kissed Shinji's lips as he collided with her. They fell to the ground, with Shinji landing on top once again. Too much like the first time, in her apartment... Rei slightly blushed, more motion in her face than ever in her entire life except when SHinji saved her life the first time. "Shinji..?" she huffed out, looking up into his warm, dark brown eyes..  
  
Shinji was blushing as well, but he got up, the package in his arms still safe. Rei's emotions became ice once more as she sat up. "You shouldn't try it, Ikari.. That's worse than having nothing." Then she shut up, looking down, at her books, and then to his hands, seeing the bag.  
  
"Come with me," he whispered, his right hand touching her cheek. The coals were slowly dying in his heart, but, there was something he wanted to do before he wasted himself. Taking a hold of her hand, he smiled gently, and they went back to her apartment.  
  
~~~  
  
Asuka stared at the chalkboard, wondering what was happening with Shinji. And where the hell was Rei? But, of course, Rei was always absent. So, that didn't help. The redhead looked down, as tears started to well in her eyes. 'Shinji... I'm sorry.."   
  
~~~  
  
Kensuke just blinked and yawned, but he too wondered where Shinji went to. "Man, Toji, do you think we should skip and look for Ikari? He hasn't been absent since that time he ran away."   
  
Toji laughed slightly. "Nah. Shinji's alright, I bet. Nothin' keeps th' guy down fer long," a small laugh erupted from his lips, but the look on his face showed that Toji was worried as well..  
  
All I can think of at the moment... ^.^ Maybe more in a couple of days...  
  
1/30/03: This is pathetic.. i can't think any god damn more.... v.v;; But I guess I can try what I did with No Control and pour my heart into this. lol... I've been messed up for the past couple of days, so I might as well give my audience what they want.   
  
11/06/03: Oy... I still can't think much. But this'll have to do, people. I've started it up again, but it's gonna be a long road ahead.. I'm nowhere near where I wanna be at with this. 


End file.
